I am sure everyone has friends in their life. Even if you don’t have any right now, but I am sure you “used” to have at least one friend in your entire life time.

 

So what do you find in a friend? Who are your friends? How does your friend treat you? What’s the purpose of your friend? What do you expect from a friend? Why do you need friends?

 

Well I most of us would have asked the above question, as for me I just come over the above question this year. And after going through those questions, I realize that although I have many friends, not many are true friends.

 

In my life there are many types of friends as well. I admit myself that sometimes I don’t really treat everyone of my friends as a true friend. Some of them I don’t even consider friend but they consider me as their friend, while some only are my friend when I need them, and others exist for my own benefit, some of them I call friend because they are able to entertain me when I am bored.

 

I am sure others call me friend for different reason as well for I can see it with my own eye. Some call me friend just because they want me to help them in studies, some calls me friend because I am being able to provide what they want, and some calls me friend only when they are in trouble.

 

But I really know how I treat each of them…. I wouldn’t deny myself being bias on how I treat them differently. And I don’t really place complete trust in everyone, this is because I don’t really know if they can really be trusted or not.

 

Some time you might think that the person is a true friend to you, but it turns out that you are just putting false hope in that person, and it end up disappointing you when things doesn’t turn out as you expected. You might be betrayed by the one you trust, hurt by that person, discouraged by that person, got cheated by that person. In short I am actually afraid to place trust in friends…..

 

However, there are still few that really treat me as true friends, they really care for me, they are concern about me, they are always there when I am in need for help, they are willing to share my burden, they rejoice with me when I when I am happy, they encourages me when I am down, they would advice me kindly when I am going the wrong path. And that’s what I call a true friend. But the problem is, I don’t tend to appreciate those people, and I take them for granted.

 

Recently I found out something very interesting about myself, which is whenever I get too close with a person, I tend to grow cold toward that person and this is something that I am trying to overcome. I don’t know why it is so, and I am actually afraid to be too close with anyone for I fear that I will grow cold toward them and I wouldn’t like that to happen.

 

Before ending this post I just would like to apologize to those that I have been cold to, and those I hurt without realizing. And a big thanks to those who have been treating me as a true friend, you are the one that lights my fire again when the fire on my candle die.