Psalm 31:9 -

“Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief“

Psalm 119:28 -

“My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.“

Isaiah 60:20 -

“ Your sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more;
the LORD will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end.“

“I’m trading my sorrow
I’m trading my shame
I’m laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I’m trading my sickness
I’m trading my pain
I’m laying it down for the joy of the Lord “

…………………………………..

“I’m pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I’m blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy’s gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning “

People thank you for concerning and worrying about me these few days, I am very well and fine now. Sorrow is a part of life that all of us have to go through, its just that I have not been through this kind of sorrow since young and everyone has a first time for everything right ?

I used to be a cold hearted person, not much feeling toward others, much a self-centered person, full of pride and ego, very ignorance, don’t really care about others, I don’t trust others, I don’t put hope in others, I don’t open myself to others, I used to look down on people, I used to brag about myself, I used to have a envious heart, I used to live for myself and I was a it’s all about me person.

Friends that know me long time ago would agree on all the above statement, well maybe they couldn’t see it all because I have not been open to them and hiding all those behind a mask. At that time I don’t even realize that I am such a person, even if people were to point out my mistake, I would think that they are no better than me and they have no right to judge me. I would also reason thing out as they are saying this just because they hate me and they want to hurt me. Come to think of it now, I was really an ignorance person back then.But all of these came to an end (not completely though) after I came to have a personal relationship with Jesus. Only through Jesus I was able to change and become a better person, and only through Jesus my eye is open, I came to see how sinful I am. Jesus has took of the log right in from of my eye, revealing the truth, and taking me out of the smoke screen to see myself and to repent.

I really learn how to live a life that matter, all these with the help of my dearest dorm mate in NS Jason Tang. I really thank God for putting him in my life. He is really a good (holy I would say) person. I could really see Christ through him. He doesn’t brag, he doesn’t gossip or condemn others, he always put others before himself, he rejoice with others victory, he encourages the weary, he is always there for those who need helps, he is brave enough to be honest with others, he points out my mistake and teach me……… and much much more Christ like character could be seen through him. He is really making a difference in others life (and I am one of them). That was the first time I found a TRUE FRIEND that I could rely on. The one that I could share all my problem with, the one that helps me during bad times, the one that comfort me during sad time and the one that celebrate my victory. And thats what I call a TRUE FRIEND, I really miss him now T.T
From that time onward, God displayed a role model before me, though he is younger than me but it doesn’t stop me from learning from him. God know I am still a baby Christian that is why he provided a guide for me and God’s plan is always perfect. Then I came to think, wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone were to have this kind of character ? Wouldn’t it be great if I could make a difference in the life of others as well ? And it was then that I start to change myself with God’s guidance and help. I manage to change some of my (not all though) bad character and habit but till now I am still learning and changing as I have the opportunity. I could see how these changes affect my life, I became more cheerful, more understanding, more open, more confident, and even more friendly. All these changes really made life even more meaningful, I never ever regret changing.
As for the sorrow that I am facing these few days is also a part of my learning and changing. It is because I started to put hope in others, trust in others, but when things doesn’t goes the way as I expect I got disappointed and felt hurt. Ya, and this is my first time experiencing such sorrow because before this I don’t have any expectation on others, but this time it’s different. Well nobody said changing would be easy right? We all have to bear a cost when we change, and I think that is why many people are afraid to change, but “no pain no gain“. I gained a lot through this pain and never regret, as I am growing, I learn how to come out of my comfort zone that leads me nowhere.
It is high time for me to GROW and MATURE for I know if I remain where I am, it would not lead me anywhere and I would miss out all the chances and opportunities that Jesus set before me.